You might think I'm crazy but this was one of the most fruitful practices Heather and I did to help better our marriage.

Do this every day for a week.  If you have younger kids it will take several days for them to learn the rules.  Be patient with everyone, but be consistent.  After the first 7 days, you might decide 3 days a week is enough (if your wife agrees), but this needs to become a regular thing in your marriage!  

COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER!

With practice this will probably become the highlight of your day too!  

It's about learning to enjoy each other and the small blessings in life!

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The Rules are Simple:

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1. Make a sign that reads "Couch Time."

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2. Teach your children that when the sign is up, they cannot bother you unless someone is dying or the house is on fire.

(hint:  positive reward, make them some microwave popcorn and put them in front of a short movie, or give them some gummies and set up their doll house, whatever it takes... if they continue to bother you, after you have sufficiently taught them this is "mommy & daddy time" you might have to send them to their room, or put them in timeout to protect this time.

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3. Hang the sign or tape it to the coffee table where everyone can see it (we made ours a bifold piece of card stock so it would stand up on the coffee table by itself.

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4. Set a timer for 20 minutes and sit down on the couch together.  

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5. Get rid of all distractions, the idea is that you will talk with each other (literally turn OFF your phones, tv, etc).

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6. Hold Hands

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7. Talk with your wife (ask her questions and let her talk too).

Sample questions (if you struggle that much with talking to your wife)

     A. How was your day?

     B. How do you feel?

     C. What would you like to do tomorrow or this weekend?

     D. What is the greatest thing that has happened to you today (tell me about it)?

     E. What is the worst thing that has happened to you today (tell me about it)?

     F. What have you been reading (tell me about it)?

     G. If aliens were going to abduct one person from your life, who do you hope they will abduct (why)?

     H. What would your ideal date look like?

For more ideas on sample questions check out:  https://liveboldandbloom.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/printable-Questions-For-Couples.pdf

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& NO FIGHTING.  THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PLEASANT, JOYFUL CONVERSATION.

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Listen to your grandma "If you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all !!!

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If you can't think of anything to talk about, or you don't feel like talking just sit and hold hands.

You are not allowed to get up until the timer goes off.

 

And Remember Do this Every Day for 7 days.  

If you are struggling to communicate effectively with your wife it will take practice to get good at this.